My stepkids (13 yrs old and 10yrs old Boys) are down from Alaska. They live with their Mother and her girlfriend/wife.  The problem is that since we have moved down to AZ (six months ago) they have been teaching the kids to be hate anyone that is not White the oldes is not taking it.  He is now starting to like a African-American girl and they want him to have nothing to do with her.  My husband and I have no problem with this at all, but while they are down visiting for the next two weeks their mother want us to talk to him about this and make him stay in his race.  My husband and I have talked to his mother and her partner and they just don't seem to think that it is right for him to do that. We have also asked how can they say anything when they are living in a same sex relationship and they said that they are at least still in the same race.  We are lost and don't and wont have this conversation with him and are trying to tell them that we all are the same on the inside.  Any suggestions?

Wow, the hatred in this world can be absolutely ridiculous.  It's amazing that two people who have most likely experienced intolerance of their relationship can pass this on in another form.  You are doing the right thing though.  Keep instilling the belief that we are all equal.  You need to let him know the importance of that and that his crush is ok.  Your problem will be that his main influences(moms) will contradict this.  You should tell him upfront that he may not be able to spend any time with this girl because of that.  Let him know he will have to abide by their rules but that he does not have to hold onto their beliefs.  He will be able to live his life as he wants to soon enough.

I want to weigh in on this, but don't have the time this AM.

I'll say this though, life is way too short.  There is plenty of hatred and sadness in the world without hypocritically driving it into the home.

We all bleed one color, and while the pair of mom's might be cooked in their outlook, the kids can still be influenced to see the world through properly focused lenses.  There is no science to support racism, and ultimately there is no logic to support it either.

Gotta run - more later! 

I couldn't have said it better Chesire Cat. The quality of a person is not judged by the color of their skin or their sexual orientation. It comes from their heart and soul. I can't even comprehend why these mothers would think in such a way. In any case, their fear is not justified, especially in today's society.

Perhaps it is society's inacceptance to them that this stems from. If society won't accept me, then it shouldn't accept them either. I just don't know.

Blinkeys -- stick with what your heart says on this one.  You and your husband have the best insterets at heart.  Though you are a blended family when your step kids are under your roof you are in control.  And with this issue it sounds like the control is best in yours and your husbands.  Do the best you can do -- that's all we can do.

thank you all for your support.   We will continue what we are doing with love and the help of God.